How Hard Can Love Be?

I love the outdoor life here in the Perthshire hills, as it keeps me in touch with nature and it’s abundant wildlife. It is a wonderful counterbalance to my sedentary working life in front of a computer screen which I also enjoy very much.  When I am with the horses all of life’s challenges, work issues and general concerns fade away.  I play with them in their field, sometimes online, sometimes at liberty, and watch as the bond between us starts to show itself.  This is how we learn to understand each other through love, patience, fun and trust.  It is times like this that make life worthwhile, that make the days special.  They are my family and we will be together for all our lives. I cannot imagine life without them.

I suppose I was lucky to have grown up with a family that I loved and loved me.  With parents that loved each other and stayed together their whole lives.  My father taught me many things but the 2 most essential things were; integrity, and never let the sun go down on a grudge, and I grew up with these firmly assimilated into my being.

I try to bring out the best in everyone I meet, not in a patronising way, but because I know that everyone is unique and I like the discovery process.  I think people can shine, every day, and that shine illuminates everyone and everything within it’s glow.  This is warm and heartening and every human being is capable of it and it can be frustrating and saddening when humanity succumbs to the capital vices – particularly, greed, envy and pride, that reinforce the illusion of seperation from nature and each other.

The less I have the richer I feel.  The less I have the closer to nature I feel.  Ownership is a false concept which creates a potemkin infrastructure that is ultimately doomed to fall.

I do not subscribe to the biblical stories of the creation of the world nor the idea of Jesus being the son of God.  To accept that there is a divine principal greater than my own spirit steals from me the chance to be the master of my own destiny.  I like to think that God is not so much a divine being, but more a “collective experience”.  An experience that can only be realised on another plane of existence.  A plane not so far removed from this one, where earthly trappings and existential needs are not only unwanted but also unneeded.  It is there that the true and full experience of love and compassion is realised, where we can feel the joy, warmth and sanctity of interconnectedness with everything.  I have a feeling that this is where horses go when they die, as do all animals, and is a natural progression for humans as we awaken to each others true needs and see the reflection of our own in each other.

It is a sad indictment of the world that great pain is inflicted in the name of love and religion, which merely goes to prove that both often come with conditions.  Both have very narrow precepts and are understood to be limiting and binding, concepts that the human being by nature would consciously or sub-consciously always try to escape from.  Do not priests, monks, rabbis, muslims, bhuddists, hindus etc all talk of “sacrifice” when embracing their chosen religion?  Has not every army in all of history hailed “God on it’s side” just before breaking his most sensitive commandment?  All testimony to the conditions that we need to place on love and religion in order for us to remain detached from one another and nature, and express personal independence; only to find ourselves exposed to the vissitudes of the world and forced to hide our fear and sense of vulnerability that is the direct result of this seperation from each other.

Integrity is the only true path in this life, in this world.  Even though it will sometimes hurt loved ones and friends, complete honesty is how strength, courage and trust can be found.

I feel safe when I am with my horses because they allow me in.  There will always be a small part of them that will remain wild.  Out there all day and every day, all night and every night, no matter what nature throws at them.  Their spirit and their strength is their home and their sanctuary and though they don’t need us, they are willing to help us, to be with us, to do our bidding.  This to me is virtuous, true greatness and I am thankful to be a small part of their lives.